Positive Attitude

*This computer just deleted this whole long post I wrote so I'm really trying hard to put my "Positive Attitude" to work. What are the chances of writing about having a postitive attitude and then having something really frustrating happen!*

First of all I just posted a bunch of posts so scroll down for more Neilsen fun! Adam and I have both been working on being positive lately and I have to say it has made such a huge difference already and it's only been a few days since we decided to really work on it. For the last few years I have been working really hard on being positive (especially through the miscarriages) and it has been a huge blessing in my life, but also a challenge. Since moving into this new ward I have struggled more than I have ever struggled before in a ward. I felt like I was not needed and frankly; not wanted. I was called as the ward choir director and was faced with the challenge of competing against very vocal opinionated people. I felt like I couldn't do anything right and always left feeling pretty bad about myself. More than ever I was so negative. I was sad that I didn't feel loved, I was frustrated that I was being criticized on everything I did, and I was mad that I wasn't getting any appreciation for what I was doing right (if I was doing anything right). I would talk to Adam all the time about my frustrations and now looking back I feel bad because there isn't much to say to an insecure frustrated woman that just wants to be listened to. Adam is a good listener though and that much I could appreciate (and a hug). I was given a couple blessings of comfort and they helped a lot but it wasn't long before I felt the overwhelming power of doubt again. Satan really knows how to bring me down. For Chistmas I led the choir in a couple songs and I was so surprised at the response we got. I got so many compliments on the choir! I was so happy and it [almost] made all the bad experiences not so bad. I had a lot of people tell me they felt the spirit and that has been my goal from the start.

From then on I've felt better about this calling and know that it is what the Lord wants me to be doing right now. He is stretching me and I feel it. I feel his love around me when I wonder if this calling is really meant for me. I'm still struggling to feel comfortable in this new ward and my new calling but I think its more a matter of being comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. We are either moving forwards or moving backwards. I always pray before choosing songs for the choir to sing and when I was feeling at my lowest I was praying for guidance on a song that would help me and the choir and "How Gentle God's Commands" came to mind. The lyrics really hit home and that night Adam sang them to me. Its easy to feel fear and doubt but through the Lord we can feel at peace. My brother talks about those feelings a lot as he serves his mission and I think its pretty normal for us to feel that way. The important part is being aware of it, then doing something about it.

How gentle God's commands
How kind His precepts are
Come cast your burdens on the
Lord and trust His constant care.

Beneath his watchful eye,
His Saints securely dwell;
That hand which bears all nature up
Shall guard His children well.

Why should this anxious load
Press down your weary mind?
Haste, to your Heavenly Father's throne,
And sweet refreshment find.

His goodness stands approved,
Unchanged from day to day;
I'll drop my burden at His feet.
and bear a song away.

Its nice to be reminded of the love my heavenly father has for me. Its so easy to feel the negative feeling of doubt, anger, anxiety; whatever it may be but unless you change your attitude you will be miserable. My dad e-mailed me President Monson's talk on his ABC's for the new year called "Living the Abundant Life". I love love love this talk!! Adam and I have read it together a few times, it is so motivating. I highly recommend reading it. I love the leaders of the Church and know that they are called of God to help uplift and inspire His sons and daughters in this wicked world. He says this about having a positive attitude:

"A in my ABCs refers to attitude. William James, a pioneering American psychologist and philosopher, wrote, “The greatest revolution of our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.” So much in life depends on our attitude. The way we choose to see things and respond to others makes all the difference. To do the best we can and then to choose to be happy about our circumstances, whatever they may be, can bring peace and contentment. Charles Swindoll—author, educator, and Christian pastor—said: “Attitude, to me, is more important than the past, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.” We can’t direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails. For maximum happiness, peace, and contentment, may we choose a positive attitude."

I am so grateful for the power of a positive attitude and know that it changes lives and influences families for the better.